Tuesday, September 22, 2009


You know that song, I kissed a girl? About two girls kissing? That's no big deal and everyone knows it. What is a big deal are TWO GUYS KISSING!!
That's right. Society rejects as revolting and disgusting two guys kissing. Girls can kiss each other at will, anywhere , anytime. But two guys?? NO WAY!!
Most people would puke or be outraged.
Yet, to my utter shame and humiliation... YES, I KISSED A BOY!
Just the thought of it used to disgust me. But not anymore. That's how shameful and perverted
I have become.
Sure, I've sucked cock for a long time. And swallowed the spermy, jizzy man spunk. But kiss a man??? Mostly in dark dingy adult theaters, some guys would try fondling me or ...YUCK, try to kiss me. I always turned away and avoided it. Now , that may sound strange for a cocksucker. I mean, you're sucking the fucking guy's cock, swallowing his sperm load, so why not kiss??
It's the stigma. Worse than cocksucking. Kissing another guy. That's HOMO. QUEER. You're really a fucking FAGGOT if you want to kiss a guy. Not just a closet cocksucker. A full blown pansy faggot.
Well, that's what I am now.
A heavyset stocky guy was sucking me off in the adult theater. It was wonderful. He was a great cocksucker. He felt so good, I laid back in my chair and he leaned over and kept sucking. His shoulders were broad, he had a short haircut. Usually it's all about the cock, or getting su cked . But for some reason I let myself go. It felt so good. I rubbed his big broad , powerful shoulders, and ran my hands across his massive back. I wasn't just getting my cock sucked. I was having MAN SEX!!
That's right. That jock was sucking me so good I was falling deeper and deeper into being a faggot homo. I fondled and caressed him like I used to caress and fondle women. Only this time instead of a soft, sexy girl, I was caressing a big strong burly MAN!! HOW FUCKING QUEER!
But I loved it! And i couldn't stop.
Then it happened. The big guy took his hot mouth off my cock and sat up and leaned into me.
He started hugging me. I turned my head away instinctively, like a shy bitch teasing her date. Just like most of the girls I've dated.
But I was no tease. He started kissing my neck, I was afraid he'd give me a hickey. I pulled away a little, but when he put his big strong arms around me, I melted and gave in. How could I do this? It's soo wrong. You're not supposed to be doing this. This is true HOMOSEXUALITY!!
It's disgusting!! But it felt soo good. So I went along with it.. I felt just like a little bitch. Like a shy , weak little girl being seduced by a big stud. So when he brought his lips to me I let him kiss my cheek. And finally, he kissed my lips. It was strange, it was queer, it was surreal.
But it felt kinda good. His lips were soft. Then he slipped his tongue into my mouth. And I let him. It felt so dirty to be kissing another boy. So wrong. So taboo. I was a girl now. I was weak, willing, I was his bitch.
He told me breathlessly that I was a good kisser. I already knew that. That is ONE compliment real girls give me. They say I am a great kisser. If they only knew how I practiced. On cocks and faggot lips.
I felt like such a queer, but I loved it. I felt like I was hopelessly slipping down the slope to full fledged faggotry, and I kept kissing and biting his lip and playing my tongue with his. HIS! A guy's mouth!
I was becoming a real homo, and i couldn't stop myself. He was making me a faggot. How low have I come??? In a dark , seedy XXX theater, half naked with our cocks out, two men kissing and making out like a couple of straight teenagers on a date. We were on a date, alright. But we weren't straight. The farthest thing from it.
I kept thinking about all the girls I've kissed, if they could see me now, in this theater, doing this with this man. Becoming his bitch. Would they be surprised?
I couldn't believe I was doing this with another boy. I was being gay, really gay kissing a guy. A true faggot queer. There was only one thing I could do. I slid down his massive , strong chest, caressing him all the way , until I reached his cock. His manhood. At least he was manly. I felt like a bitch. So I did what all good bitches do. I was no tease. I sucked his cock into my mouth and I french kissed his stiff rod like it was my lover. I eased him back into the chair as I took my rightful place on my knees. I gave my new boyfriend a wonderful blow job. he rewarded me with a large load of his man spunk. As he filled my mouth with his sperm, I wondered what my girlfriends would think of me. I wondered if my new boyfriend had a girlfriend who would also be shocked, or if he was just a queer. I took his load of baby batter and swallowed every drop. He tucked his limp cock back into his pants and zipped up. I was exhausted, spent , and emotionally vulnerable... i had kissed and made love to another man, and had the pungent odor of his sperm fresh on my breath. He squeezed my shoulder as he got up to leave, as if to say thank you. I know he loved it.
I kissed a boy. And to my eternal shame, I loved it, too.

Monday, September 7, 2009


I was out walking the other day.
It was stinking hot and i saw a big nigger washing his car.
I wanted so bad to go over to him and strike up a conversation
and offer to wash his car for him. but i was too much of a pussy.

I would love to be that kind of a
bitch for a black man. I could wear short blue jean shorts and a skimpy
t shirt. he could go back into the house and have a cold beer while i
finished up for him. afterwards i would come inside and serve his beers and
clean his apartment for him. of course , after a few beers I am sure he
would want to push me down between his legs and force me to take his
big black cock down my throat and suck him off and swallow alll
that hot steamy nigger sperm.
If any of you big niggers want a pussy white boy to use in this way, contact me.
i'll be your white pussy bitch. and of course feel free to punish me for my filthy talk
and my racist use of the "n word". Bitch slap me, dick slap me, spank me, force me
to do all the dirty nasty things your imagination can dream of. I would be honored
to be your little bitch boy in private.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Cum Eating

The best, and most shameful part of being a cocksucker is letting a real man blow
his hot load into my mouth and feeling that warm gooey jizz slide down my faggot's mouth and into my throat, giving my tummy all the spermy protein it needs.
It is humiliating to let a man use you this way. I mean real girls were meant to be bitches, not supposed real men like myself. But when I'm on my knees taking another
huge real man cock into my mouth, I give up all pretense of being a real man. I am the bitch, and I prove it every time I get down on my knees in front of a real man.
The first sperm I ever let into my mouth was from a large black cock. I mean this thing was huge. I was sucking it through a glory hole, and I never let a guy come in my mouth. My little pee pee of a penis never gets hard while I suck a cock. Well, THIS huge black dick was different. I was enthralled with my first big black cock. I sucked and swallowed it for all i was worth.
AND my little clittie dick started getting hard while I was sucking! that's how turned on i was. And when this black monster cock started spewing it's nasty sperm load into my sissy faggot mouth, i didn't pull away before it spurt into my mouth like i always did. I couldn't stop sucking that big black cock. So it spewed and spewed a huge load into my mouth, I couldn't stop sucking and just let the creamy jizz load of sperm drain from my mouth onto the floor as I sucked. The old black man leaned down to the hole and said "thanks, that was fantastic".
another compliment on cocksucking for a natural born faggot in denial.

My little pee pee

I thought I would show you all the reason I suck cocks.
You see, when you have a little pee pee like mine (can't even call it a cock),
you can not satisfy a woman. I could never, they always cheated on me, every last one
of them. And who could blame them? Look at my little clitty. It is so shameful, I am
even ashamed that I forced it on real women. So now I spend my time making sure REAL MEN'S cocks are satisfied. They REAL MEN thank me sometimes for my expert cocksucking, often complimenting me and telling me what a great cocksucker I am.
No woman ever told me I was a good lover.
So what would you do? Would you go on pretending to be a real man? Not me.
After being rejected by women I still needed some sort of sex. Sometmes I would have sissy fags like myself suck me off. and it felt great. But eventually, inevitably, I became the sissy cocksucker who satisfied those big real man cocks. See for yourself.
Guess which one is mine.

Please leave comments

I would love for anyone to comment on my blog.
These are my one hundred percent true experiences I am sharing, and would love
to hear from anyone, good or bad. since i love humiliation and shame, feel free to tell me what you really think.

Closet Cocksucker

My latest tale of shame...
My last visit to the gloryholes.
Most people by now know what a glory hole is. Well, for those of you who don't (and I hope there are some girls reading this who don't know yet and will be shocked and disgusted) I will tell you. They are holes in a wall big enough for some guy to stick his cock through so the guy on the other side can suck him off. They can be found in park restrooms , restrooms of road stops and rest areas, and also in adult theater booths.

This is where I come in. You see, I'm the queer on his knees on the other side of the wall. I am the cock addicted homo fag that kneels down in the dark like the submissive sissy that I am and waits for a fat piece of man meat to slide through that hole. Yes, I suck them and yes those guys leave satisfied after the dump a load of hot jizzy sperm in my mouth and down my throat.

This last time was one of my more humiliating experiences. This adult bookstore is exceptionally seedy and dirty. I am disgusted just going in, and this adds to my shame as i walk from my car red faced hoping no one driving by will recognize me.
Once inside, my disgusting urges and cravings drive me to the back of the store.
The filthiest and sleaziest part of the place. The video booths. I have to walk past the other shoppers who are just there to buy porn. They are not there to commit the filthy acts that I am about to commit. I avoid eye contact, and still hope a normal hetero guy who I know is not there getting some porn. Because if he saw me go back to the video booths , he would know what I am.
Back at the booths in this place it is really filthy. And the guys hanging out in the hallways are usually pretty ugly or fat or just look queer.
Back here I want to make eye contact. This is how I let them know that I am here to suck cock. I drop all my manly pretenses and now in this little back hallway with the sounds of porn coming from behind these dingy booth doors, I let the world know that I am a cocksucker. Anyone in that hallway knows what I am ... a faggot,
and they know what I am not... a real man.
So I see this older black guy. We make eye contact. Good. Because this is my favorite.
Black. Black Cock. It's not enough that I suck cock, I must be a cocksucker for black cock. Big Black Cock.
So I slip into a booth with a glory hole and close the door. The old black dude watches me. I put the money in the machine and I switch to a straight sex scene on the video screen. I like to suck cock along with the girls in the movies. Perverted, isn't it?
Well, this old black man gets in the booth next to me. I'm already kneeling so he knows he's gonna get sucked. he pulls out this huge but soft piece of black meat. it's my job to get it hard. So i go to work on it and suck like a porn star. it is uncut, i am fascinated by uncut black cocks. i tease the head with my tongue .
I find black guys with huge uncut cocks like to deep throat, so i give it my best shot, it's big , but i do my duty.
well, this guy withdrawals, and goes back in the hallway. I know he will never find a better cocksucker. I've been complimented too many times to know that.
It is shameful, but I have been told what a great cocksucker I am a million times, but never once has a girl told me that I am a good lover. Which is probably how I wound up on my knees sucking nigger cock through a filthy glory hole.
So I give up on this guy and find another glory hole. I find a few cocks to suck, swallowing their jizz along the way. while i'm sucking I think how low I am, how shameful what I am doing is. how filthy it is. but i can't stop.
I think about my pretty female friends (you know, the ones who hang with me and have fun but don't fuck me), and what they would think if they could see me on my knees at this glory hole, greedily sucking on cock. I wonder if they secretly know somehow.
I find another booth, searching for cock and.....
Bingo! Another Nigger was already inside waiting for a cocksucker. He was wearing cameflouge pants and rubbing his cock. so i assume my position. He pokes the head of that black monster at me and I greedily slurp at it. But my shock and surprise come when he pokes that black meat all the way through the hole. This fucking thing was not only one of the thickest cocks i've sucked, but to make it more amazing and difficult, the fucking thing was curved upward at what seemed like a 90 degree angle. that's right. the fattest, curved up cock i've ever seen. and believe me when i tell you, i have seen many, many, many cocks... it's all part of being a filthy addicted cocksucking sissy.
And the cock is black, my favorite.
Now, this wasn't the easiest cock to suck, but i did my best. the base barely fit in the hole, and it was hard to get my head around his cock because of the curve and the wall it was sticking out of. But I pleased that freak cocked nigger. how do I know that?
The same way any bitch knows she pleases her man. he rewarded me for my hard work with a nice , sweet salty load of sperm. of course, it tasted great.
when he left the booth i stayed on my knees and decided to wait for the cocks to come to me.
i heard talking in the hallway. i had seen most of them as i cruised the hallway looking for cock, but i couldn't place all the voices. i heard one guy he sounded like your stereo typical gay boy, you know, with a lispy, femmy voice. i heard him say "he's really hungry", the other guys in the hallway laughed , and I got the impression he was talking about me. i figured i must be imagining it.
so i waited on my knees for the next cock to come through the hole.
shortly, someone came in the next booth. I couldn't see him, but was peeking thru the hole. i saw someone's shadow as the leaned toward the hole and i heard the lispy , femmy voice say " good position, stay down there, bitch! you're going to need to be down there." all the other fags in the hallway laughed with him as he left the booth.
OMG! he was talking about me. a lispy, femmy fag you would find on the street was making fun of ME for being too much of a fag! It truly was shameful, and as i sat there waiting for cock, too much of a pussy to take on this effeminate homosexual and tell him off... i realized a truth. I was a bigger queer than he was. I WAS hungry. I couldn't get enough cock. And I let him ridicule me like that, I was also a bigger pussy and sissy.
Eventually a tall , skinny guy came in. he was dressed between a cowboy and a hipster, with big belt buckle, long straight hair and sunglasses and tight clothes.
I thought about my friend Amy, once we talked about how tall skinny guys have big cocks.
Amy is pretty, and has never had sex with me, but with a lot of other guys. she knows i want her so bad, promises me sometimes, but never has fucked me or sucked me off.
I think she suspects I'm a cocksucker. More about that later.
Anyway, I gigled to myself and thought about Amy. And this guy's cock didn't look to big.
But then it grew and grew in my mouth, til it was really big. i was happy, and wondered what Amy would think if she could see me with that big cock in my mouth.
Suddenly, the door to my booth swung open. I know I had locked it, but the damn locks were worthless.
There was a tall, stocky, actually fat big black man peering in. I'm such a slut I didn't even stop sucking to look at him. I just turned my head to the door as i sucked and looked at him.
I went back to sucking and said to myself, fuck it, let him watch, i'll suck him next if he wants.
Suddenly the big black guy was in the booth behind me.
Well, I hear this big nigger saying , "suck that cock",
he was very forceful. I kept sucking. then i thought...
why not try to suck both cocks?
I reach for this big nigger's crotch and I start rubbing, still sucking the other cock.
the nigger undoes his jeans and he didn't smell good. but i had no choice. i needed that black cock in my mouth and a little bad smell won't stop me.
I looked back to keep sucking on the white cock but he pulled it away. Maybe he was racist and didn't want to share his faggot cocksucker with a big nigger.
It didn't matter anyway cause this big nigger grabbed me by my head and told me "Suck dat cock, bitch". Suck it.
so i did. He demanded, faster, faster, suck it bitch. yeah, that's it.
i complied with my black master. he was so forceful i couldn't refuse.
i put up with his stink and pumped my face and mouth furiously on his cock. i rammed my throat all the way down on his big black cock as he moaned.
i pulled it out and tried to lick it lovingly, but he wouldn't have it that way.
"Suck dat cock, bitch. Pumping my head up and down on this large negro shaft as my
black master commanded me to please him.
suck it, suck it, yeah, faster.
i couldn't suck fast enough. finally he exploded in my mouth, his black cock and my mouth pumping so furiously he shot his big load in my mouth, on my face, and on my t shirt.
When my superior nigger had used me for his cum dump, he said "damn, you suck cock like that you should be in the movies"
another compliment.... about my cocksucking.
This big smelly Nigger then zipped up and left me covered in his sticky, creamy jizzy sperm. Still wet on my face and on my shirt, the taste still in my faggot's mouth. Being summer, I was a sweaty messs, the smells of fresh and dried nasty sperm permeated my whole body and clothes. I was a stinking , cummy mess.
as i sat there, I thought of what a bitch I am , how I let this man use me like a bitch.
And I thought of Amy, how she would never fuck me if she could see me now.